It’s that time of year.. Whether you spend your days wishing people a “Merry Christmas”, “Happy Holidays”, Happy Festivus” or opting not to wish anyone anything, for me, it is a time of reflection of the past year.
This has been one of the most heart wrenching and healing 365 days of my 42 years. I lost my husband. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Medullary Thyroid cancer. I still may lose my youngest son to a biological mother that he has no knowledge of her existence because she’s been in prison for breaking the bones of his autistic half brother.
I have been given the chance to have my heart stolen by an amazingly beautiful man. I won my 10th fight against cancer. And I am forever hopeful that my son will remain with the family that loves him unconditionally.
I have learned much this past year. About humanity, but mostly.. About myself.
I’ve had a 2 year long friendship destroyed by paranoia, greed and hatefulness.
I have lost people I once held close to my heart when they walked away because the ever-growing and bettering of myself wasn’t what they wanted of me.
At the end of this year, however, I have gained so much more than any one person should have the right to hope for.
For what family I lost, I have gained, exponentially. I have learned to be appreciative and grateful for those that love me.
Ryan, who holds the key to my heart..
Jason, who inspires me to reach for the stars..
Chris, who has held me up when I couldn’t hold myself and never asked for anything in return..
Paul, whose kind words have reaffirmed I am on the path to being a better human being…
My kids, who have weathered every storm by my side and are still proud to call me “Mom”..
Ian, who nurtured my love of science, and in turn, my entire life.
And lastly, but never least, James, who has shared both my laughter and my tears without a thought in the world of me being insane at times.
There are SO many people who have touched, and changed, my life for whom I owe so much to, even if I had to muddle through the negative to find my silver lining. I cannot possibly thank all of them.
So for each of you who are reading this.. Whether that may be tonight, tomorrow, or an eternity for now..
To each of you.. I wish you LIFE. Live it with your head up and hope in your heart.
Just be good.. The world will follow.