Too busy tripping over myself to lead…

My past weeks on FB have been filled with much more positivity than I have managed in my entire lifetime, up to this point.  I’ve had to make a conscious effort to do so, as life is still throwing me a few curveballs(though they are much less curvy than in the past 6 months).

Today, my brother tells me, “I’m following in your footsteps.  I haven’t posted anything negative on Facebook.”

I nearly panicked.

For the love of everything unholy, don’t follow in my footsteps.  I’m seriously the most likely to step on a well-marked landmine.

I’m just winging the positive preface to life.  No one ever told me how, or why, to present myself with a positive outlook.  I just know that I’ve been drenched in negative, hateful thinking, for the better part of my life; namely at the hands of religion.

I have been very lucky in that I have met a few people who have become a bit of a guide, of sorts.  The irony is, one is the very brother who said he was following in my footsteps.  The other..  Well, that is a more private, personal matter; one which I will not delve into out of respect for him.

My point is, and always has been, you can find inspiration for positivity everywhere you look.  The trick is in actually being open to seeing it.  I wake up every morning and greet my partner with a smile and a cup of coffee..  It makes him smile.  And his smile makes ME smile.  And it sets the tone for my entire day, even if something gets stressful or chaotic.  I have that smile to get me through.

The sound of my sons laughter…  A crisp, cool, sunny morning..  I wave at people and they often wave back…

There are so many little things that were positive in my life all along.  I just didn’t have the capacity to SEE them and even if I had, I wouldn’t have known quite how to embrace them without immediately thinking about that other shoe dropping.

There have been a few people that dropped me hints on how to do that very thing..  Callie Wright, Shayrah Moran and Chris Seathinhethan are a few such individuals; even if they had no clue they were helping me to see the world through a different colored lens.

Jason, my brother..  Man, oh man, did he open my eyes to a lot of things, especially in the past 6 months.  I realized, because of him, I really am okay with being me, flaws and all.  It’s what makes me human.  He taught me to learn to accept my mistakes as just mistakes and not complete disasters and that I could overcome them rather easily.

And then there is R..  Who opened the rest of the world…  🙂

I’m still stumbling over my own feet on being more positive.  But I have the most AMAZING people walking beside me..  And every time I trip, they point, laugh, and then pick me right back up.

That’s what life is all about.

One thought on “Too busy tripping over myself to lead…

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